walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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