i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude i'm inner monologue high
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
