Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so let's talk penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
