I'm jealous of your bromance
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
