The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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