yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
