I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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