It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
