My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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