So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
