Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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