did you get engaged???
apparently the secret to your success is patron
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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