Me too!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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