just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
