and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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