i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize