somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
