i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize