my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize