I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the day after is always just damage control
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
