Got a toothbrush?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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