People in love make me want to vomit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You are the jesus of drinking
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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