So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
