I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
