There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
