why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
