I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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