I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
cat food counts as protein by the way
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
