there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
