You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this just has baby written all over it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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