my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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