PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
