It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
