My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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