I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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