we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
