found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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