shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
