we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
