I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
