Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
