why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
