Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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