I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
