I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were trust falling into bushes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
