Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
