he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize