i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
