Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
