mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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