i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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