i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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