Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
