You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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