The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
