Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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