She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
