The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
