Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
