Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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