Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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