I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize