you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize