Only a mothe r could love this liver
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's rum buckets o'clock
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
