We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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