And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
