Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
