My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
