Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we have officially lost it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
